


two sides of the same coin

by cosmoknot



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Erik's perspective, M/M, i'm gay and i'm sorry, prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 05:08:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15656391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmoknot/pseuds/cosmoknot
Summary: you both want the same thing.oh, my friend, i’m sorry. but we do not.





	two sides of the same coin

**Author's Note:**

> i've been writing fanfic/fan prose since i was 12 or 13 but only now have i gotten the courage to post any. i've been wanting to post two avengers fics i've been working on for awhile, but a) i've been stuck for a bit and b) i've been on an xmen kick with my friend danny for about two weeks now and i'm enjoying the hell out of it
> 
> basically i got real torn up about cherik after rewatching x-men: apocalypse so i threw this out there

two sides of the same coin.

coin,

the one you keep in your breast pocket

to remind you of who you are

and what you are

and who you lost

and where you came from

and who did this to you

and why your heart pounds for vengeance, a war drum of one,

and your rage, righteous and angelic and swift, pours out like holy water -

 

except  _true focus lies somewhere between rage and serenity_ ,

but your’s is on him and his clear, frank eyes,

the ones that never lie.

so you tune your focus, watching as it sharpens.

 

you are sharpening the weapon that stabs him in the back.

 

this isn’t what you wanted.

 

you both want the same thing.

 

_oh, my friend, i’m sorry. but we do not._

 

his eyes are the colors of the sea that sailors threw themselves in to reach the sirens.

they hold no lies.

even as you hold him,

laid out on the beach, sand gritting your skin -

you are watching him drown.

you are the siren.

 

there are no words.

 

you both want the same thing -

except you want freedom and answers and him

and he wants his sister and some peace and the continued use of his fucking legs

so when he knocks you to floor

you hold your jaw and you figure, _well, i deserved that._

you both want the same thing.

for a moment, anyway.

 

true focus lies between rage and serenity;

he was right about that much.

so you try life his way.

you want the simple life;

a wife and a daughter,

a quiet little cabin in a quiet little town,

in a country where your mother tongue lays flat on the forest floor,

and you protect what you want.

 

it doesn’t end well.

a heart shaped locket coated in blood nestles itself next to the coin,

and they carry what’s left out in body bags.

 

change tastes like copper and vengeance tastes like steel,

and you can turn both with just a shadow of a will.

so you do just that.

but blood tastes like copper, too;

and your vision is swimming in its color when he gets hurt and he cries your name.

you protect what you want.

this won’t do.

 

you both want the same thing;

except, truth be told, it’s always in shades:

yours a shade of blue, a tint of absolution-

the color of his eyes;

his, a tawny blonde, a hint of optimism-

the color of your hair in the sun.

(you do not know this;

you're not the one with telepathy.)

 

you both want the same thing;

except you find the only thing you both truly agree on is to walk away;

you commit it to memory,

the last you see of him as you do-

and only later do you realize that’s the only way you remember him.

 

you both want the same thing;

except he has fallen in love with you as you walk away

because it seems that’s all you ever do;

and you the way you remember him, 

because the past is all you have with him.

 

two sides of the same coin.

coin;

he calls heads and you call tails,

and neither of you walk away the winner.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on twitter @residentrogers


End file.
